By: June Shimuoshili
If we want to end gender-based violence, we have to start much earlier than the first violent relationship.
We have to start with boys.
Not because boys are naturally violent.
Not because every boy becomes a violent man.
But because society teaches boys lessons about masculinity long before they understand what masculinity means.
“Don’t cry.”
“Man up.”
“Don’t show weakness.”
“Fight back.”
“Don’t let a girl disrespect you.”
These messages may seem harmless when a boy is six or ten years old. But what happens when that boy becomes a young man experiencing rejection, jealousy, heartbreak or failure?
Does he know how to talk about it?
Does he know how to ask for help?
Does he understand that being hurt does not give him permission to hurt someone else?
These are skills we must teach.
Namibia’s own analysis of GBV identifies harmful social norms, unequal power relations, toxic masculinities and the normalisation of violence as contributing factors.
So let us start in schools.
Teach boys emotional literacy.
Teach them consent.
Teach them healthy communication.
Teach them that crying does not make them weak.
Teach them that asking for therapy does not make them less of a man.
And teach them that rejection is painful, but violence is never an acceptable response to it.
At the same time, we must create spaces where boys can speak without immediately being judged.
A boy who learns to say, “I am hurt,” may grow into a man who knows how to seek help.
A boy who learns to say, “I am angry,” may learn to process that anger instead of turning it into violence.
And a boy who learns that vulnerability is human may become a man who understands that the people he loves are human too.
Ending GBV starts with changing what we teach children about what it means to be strong.
